What to Do When a Parent Passes Away: A Guide for the First 90 Days
Losing a parent is difficult enough without having to navigate the financial and legal responsibilities that follow.
I've worked with families after the loss of a parent, and one thing I've learned is that most people don't need more legal terminology during the first few weeks. They need someone to help them understand what should happen first, what can wait, and where costly mistakes are most often made.
That's the purpose of this guide.
This article isn't intended to replace advice from an estate attorney, CPA, or financial planner. Every estate is different. Instead, it provides a practical roadmap for navigating the first 90 days after losing a parent.
Looking for a quick reference? I've also created a free First 90-Day Estate Administration Checklist that summarizes the steps in this article into a printable one-page guide you can take with you when meeting with an attorney, funeral home, or financial institution.
➡️ Download the checklist here.
The First Few Days: Focus on Immediate Needs
Your first priority is taking care of your family and making funeral arrangements.
During the first few days, consider the following:
Select a funeral home.
Order multiple certified copies of the death certificate. Most financial institutions will require one before transferring assets.
Notify close family and friends.
Secure the home if it will be vacant.
Arrange care for pets if needed.
Locate any prepaid funeral plans or burial instructions.
Many funeral homes will notify the Social Security Administration on your behalf. While that's helpful, I still encourage families to confirm that the notification was completed.
This is also not the time to make major financial decisions. Outside of a few immediate tasks, most financial decisions can wait until you've had time to gather information and understand the estate.
Week One: Gather Information Before Moving Anything
One of the biggest mistakes I see is families immediately trying to close accounts or transfer assets.
Instead, spend the first week figuring out what your parent owned and where everything is located.
Try to locate:
The will or trust
Estate planning documents
Contact information for the estate planning attorney
Bank accounts
Investment accounts
Retirement accounts
Life insurance policies
Pension information
Mortgage information
Vehicle titles
Safe deposit boxes
Your goal isn't to move assets yet.
Your goal is to create a complete inventory.
Digital Access Can Become a Major Roadblock
Twenty years ago, families searched through filing cabinets.
Today, much of someone's financial life exists behind passwords.
Bank accounts.
Investment accounts.
Email.
Password managers.
Cloud storage.
Even two-factor authentication often depends on having access to their phone.
I've seen families know their parent had investment accounts but have no idea where they were held because every statement was delivered electronically.
Fortunately, many financial institutions and technology companies have procedures that allow executors or family members to request access after providing the required legal documentation. The process is usually much smoother when you already know which companies to contact.
This is one reason I encourage clients to maintain a simple document listing:
Financial institutions
Investment firms
Insurance companies
The location of estate planning documents
Contact information for their CPA, CFP® professional, and estate planning attorney
Your family doesn't need to know every detail of your finances.
They should simply know where to start.
Weeks Two Through Four: Begin Notifying Financial Institutions
Once you've gathered information, begin contacting the organizations that need to know about your parent's passing.
Immediately
Funeral home
Close family members
Employer (if still working)
Social Security Administration (confirm notification)
Care facility or caregiver, if applicable
Within the First Month
Banks and credit unions
Investment firms
Retirement plan custodians
Life insurance companies
Pension administrators
Mortgage lender
Credit card companies
CPA
Estate planning attorney
As Needed
Utility companies
Cell phone provider
Internet provider
Homeowners insurance
Auto insurance
DMV
Subscription services
Memberships and loyalty programs
Don't assume every account should be closed immediately.
Some assets pass directly to beneficiaries, while others remain open while the estate is administered. If you're unsure, ask questions before making changes.
Know When to Contact an Estate Attorney
Some estates are straightforward.
Others become complicated very quickly.
I have seen families spend years navigating probate because proper planning wasn't completed beforehand. In one California estate, probate costs alone exceeded $100,000. I've also seen estates tied up in probate across multiple states because no estate plan had been established.
Consider contacting an estate attorney early if:
There is no will or trust.
Real estate is owned in multiple states.
A family business is involved.
Family members disagree.
Probate appears likely.
The estate is large or complex.
There are blended family considerations.
Bringing in an experienced attorney early can often prevent expensive mistakes later.
During the First 90 Days: Don't Overlook Taxes
Taxes don't stop simply because someone passes away.
Several important items should be reviewed during the first few months.
Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs)
If your parent was required to take a Required Minimum Distribution during the year they passed away, determine whether it was completed. If not, it may still need to be distributed before year-end.
Final Individual Income Tax Return
A final individual income tax return generally needs to be filed for the year of death. Depending on the size and complexity of the estate, an estate income tax return may also be required.
Step-Up in Basis
Many taxable investment accounts and real estate properties receive a step-up in basis at death.
Before selling inherited investments, make sure you understand how this rule applies. It can significantly reduce capital gains taxes if handled correctly.
Social Security
Confirm that the Social Security Administration has been notified and determine whether survivor benefits are available for a surviving spouse or dependent children.
Assemble Your Team
Settling an estate is rarely a one-person job.
Depending on the situation, your team may include:
An estate planning attorney
A CPA
A CFP® professional
The funeral home
Financial institutions
Each professional plays a different role, and good communication between them can make the process much smoother.
Final Thoughts
The first 90 days after losing a parent can feel overwhelming.
Remember that your first responsibility isn't making every financial decision immediately. It's gathering information, understanding what your parent owned, and building the right team to help you move forward.
Take inventory before transferring assets.
Ask questions before signing paperwork.
Don't be afraid to seek professional advice when the situation becomes more complicated than expected.
A little patience during these first few months can prevent costly mistakes and make settling the estate much less stressful for everyone involved.